I knew the moment I first saw her that we were meant to belong to each other. We were both at the right place, at the right time, with the right people to make it happen. I will be forever grateful to Lost Dog and Cat Rescue Foundation for accepting her as an owner surrender, something they rarely did, and for letting me be her foster mom until I ultimately adopted her.
She was the most loyal companion I have ever known. She saw me through breakups and a year of life with a crazy roommate. If I didn't feel well, she stayed by my side, whether I was fighting the sniffles or a multi-day migraine. She kept vigil while I recovered from surgery. She licked my tears on the rare occasion that I cried, including today, when I broke down and sobbed for hours before we went to the vet. She slept with me every night, curled up against the small of my back. Our routine was that she would jump on the bed before I got in, and would wait for me to lay down before she settled down herself. Over the last couple of weeks, though, she didn't jump on the bed first. She started the night down on the floor. I guess making the jump was hard for her. At some point in the night, though, she managed to take her place, and I would wake up with her next to me, even though I had to fall asleep on my own.
I owe a lot to Jezebel. Because of her, I found my life's purpose. She is the reason I went from volunteering with an all breed rescue to a pit bull specific one. She is the reason I've done so much research and advocate for pit bull type dogs. She is the reason that I took pit bull fosters when we lost Chuck, though she demanded a high level of respect from them, and was not easy on them at all. Most importantly, she's the reason that Admiral is here. She chose him for us. He was the one foster dog that she tolerated in a way she never did any of the others. And because she did, I will get through this, because Admiral will step up and fill the hole she left behind.
I would give anything to have her here with me right now, but not at her expense. I could have pursued chemo and radiation in an attempt to fight her cancer, but I know that would have only bought us a couple more months. I probably could have talked to the vet about amputating the leg that her cancer was living in, but putting her through that procedure would have been selfish of me. The surgery to remove her first tumor was really hard on her. After experiencing the pain Admiral went through, I couldn't justify making her go through that just so she could continue to be here for me. I had to do what was best for her, even though it was the worst thing for me.
I know Jezebel will guide me in my mission to help pit bulls in need of help finding new families. She will send me the ones that need me the most, and I will do my best to make sure they find the people they're meant to be with.
Jezzy changed my life. I don't know who I would be today if I hadn't adopted her 10 years ago. She is, and will forever be, my original soul dog.
I love you, puppy girl. I miss you tons and you will be the first one I look for when it's my turn to cross the bridge into Heaven.
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